i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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