I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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