So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize