i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
