i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
