i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
