You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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