Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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