I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
