ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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