Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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