Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How does one acquire holy water?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
