Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
