I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
