theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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