In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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