sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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