Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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