is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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