garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
