in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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