at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
