Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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