What did we do last night that was yellow?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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