some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
