I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
