i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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