Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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