First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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