did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
