I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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