hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
