Acid is not a monday night drug
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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