If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
