i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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