you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
