i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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