i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
