Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
