i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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