I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
