Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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