dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
