Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
