lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
