so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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