You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
