some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
