Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
