I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I need to align my fucking chakras
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