Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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