He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
