I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you had me at cake vodka
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
