Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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