the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
