When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize