your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
