Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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