yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
