Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
