So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
