You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
