I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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