Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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