oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
