so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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