My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
